August 25th, 2009 - 11:37 pm § in Bands

The Secret History of the Funhouse Strippers

As has so often been the case, the members of the Funhouse Stripper found each other through the course of a tragedy. That event took place four years ago at a resort near Cancun, Mexico. Known internally as the Yucatan Outbreak, a small amount of the Lipscomb-Takashi virus was released into the local drinking water by an as of yet unknown individual or organization.

The infection spread rapidly through the native population. Those not exposed to the tainted water supply were quickly swarmed by the bloodthirsty hoard. Our local response assets were able to establish a perimeter with the help of local authorities preventing a more catastrophic and widespread pandemic.

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July 8th, 2009 - 12:48 am § in Bands

The Secret History of Eskimo and Sons

Eskimo and Sons first came to our attention through their association with Typhoon and the Boy Gorilla cabal. In accordance with agency policy all persons who come into contact with the members of Typhoon are subjected to a thorough background check. When this check was executed for the individuals [...]


July 8th, 2009 - 12:31 am § in Bands

The Secret History of the Black Black Black

Inasmuch as all three members of the Black Black Black are also members of Typhoon, much of their harrowing origin has already been recorded elsewhere. That account speaks to a horrific ordeal that would be more than enough drama for any single lifetime. For Dave, Kyle and Devin, however, that journ[...]


July 8th, 2009 - 12:08 am § in Bands

The Secret History of Evolver’s Remorse

Evolver’s Remorse is the latest incarnation of what has recently become a one woman act. Also performing under the names Pronouncing Ellipses, The Tasty Danders, and Wronger Prong, Diane Steinmeyer. has been a solo act since the gangland style execution of her three band mates in the fall of 2006.[...]


July 7th, 2009 - 10:40 pm § in Bands

The Secret History of Typhoon

The members of Typhoon are the improbable result of a forced breeding program instituted by an elite cabal of music snobs within the Soviet regime during the waning years of the Cold War. Intended to address a perceived progressive rock gap, the project’s original goal was to produce an endless st[...]


July 7th, 2009 - 9:36 pm § in Bands

The Secret History of the Widgets

It was through serendipity that the four original members of the Widgets met late one fall night in 1997 outside a 24 hour convenience store. The previous day the NRA had visited the local high school they all attended as part of a nationwide campaign to raise youth awareness of Second Amendment rig[...]