Evolver’s Remorse is the latest incarnation of what has recently become a one woman act. Also performing under the names Pronouncing Ellipses, The Tasty Danders, and Wronger Prong, Diane Steinmeyer. has been a solo act since the gangland style execution of her three band mates in the fall of 2006. She had met and began playing with Marco, Hans and Juliet during her undocumented time in Europe, but this bit of serendipity proved fatal for her friends. Truth be told, Diane is not simply a musically inclined young woman fresh out of university; she is in actuality a walking, talking, singing doomsday device. And she’s older than she looks.
Four years ago a pair of Venezuelan archaeologists on a dig in the mountains of Chile unearthed a black stone slab from beneath a layer of lava millions of years old. Although this defied explanation, it was clearly artificial. The men removed the stone to their base camp and began a preliminary examination. To their great surprise, an x-ray of the object revealed what appeared to be an egg-like cavity inside the stone containing human remains. Eager to get to the bottom of the mystery, they obtained heavy equipment and began chiseling into the monolith. What they discovered inside incinerated them almost instantly.
For, you see, Diane is an Archangel. For millions of years following her fall in the First War in Heaven she lay dormant, imprisoned in the black rock for her transgression. With her cell compromised, a pulse of divine energy burst forth, decimating the nearby forest. The Venezuelans died smiling, immediately enraptured by her beauty. Awoken by the intrusion, and remembering nothing of her former existence, Diane wandered aimlessly through the jungles of Latin America until the CIA, who have always kept a close eye on the region and could hardly miss her explosive rebirth, sent a retrieval team captured her.
The Company enrolled her in one of their summer work study programs in the South of France where she was inducted into the world of covert operations. She, naturally, excelled at any task asked of her. During the school year she maintained her cover as a student stateside at a small liberal arts college in the Pacific Northwest. Summers she continued to work Europe, surveilling enemies of the state and performing counterintelligence operations against rival agencies. To date, she has three confirmed kills on her record. For her own edification she began dabbling in music, teaching herself to play a variety of instruments and writing original songs. A band formed around her and toured Europe as she took assignments, but when her cover was blown in the summer of 2006 all of their lives became endangered.
Unaware of the threat, her band mates followed her back to Oregon for her senior year at college, only to be caught and killed by as yet unknown assailants following a performance. Diane, manifesting her long dormant Angelic powers, destroyed a square block in Historic Downtown Salem, annihilating any evidence of her attackers or their motives. The CIA, of course, cleaned this up, creating a cover story about an electrical fire at a local furniture store. Diane was also hospitalized with a reported case of e-coli infection, though this was simply in order to reevaluate her status and health. Finally realizing her potential power, Diane sought to sever her ties to clandestine operations. Not willing to provoke another event, the CIA did not stop her.
Diane has since completed her undergraduate degree and relocated to the great city of Seattle. Working in the non-profit sector, perhaps in an attempt to atone for the violence she has wrought in her life, she continues to pursue her music. As always, she is well loved and respected, but privately she continues to struggle, tormented by the mysteries of her own past…
